Sit On The Couch

Q:Ok well I have never sent in a question to anything on advice before but I was referred by a friend to read your blog a few days back and seen your advisement on the cheating blog for sending questions for advice and thought to myself what the hell. I have a issue that my friends just think I should give up on but I think they have other motives cause I know a couple are interested in me

Well there is this woman I know that is AMAZING - she has goals, well educated, beautiful, has a great sense of humor, just well grounded all around, I'm sure you get the point well she is recently divorced and says she isn't looking for a relationship but if something comes her way she may bite but I know there is someone she is interested in because she has spoken to me about him before. We have been friends for a few years and she is a great friend she has helped me with alot of life issues as well as we always have a good time when we talk or hang out but the thing is I am in love with her but I'm afraid if I tell her that will end our friendship she has been thru so much and I dont want to add to the the bull she went thru or even possibly chasing someone who doesn't seem to want her? Why do good women do that? So what should I do?

A: First off, your "friends" that like you will never give you sound advice when you are in pursuit of another woman. They will find any and every reason possible to tear down the other individual to boost themselves up.

Next, you say that she is a recent divorcee. Be that she was in a relationship that didn't go as planned doesn't necessarily mean she's ready to jump back in the ring just yet. Many times, people who "break up" or "divorce" are in need of space. But at the same time, you need to remain true to your feelings. If you really feel a connection stronger than a friendship, you should follow your heart and express yourself to this person. They will never know how you truly feel and you will never know of the possibility that may have been.

There is, however, a thin line between friendship and a relationship. Be that you have been friends with this woman for some time is to your advantage. Patience is the most important rule of thumb in a situation such as this. You don't want to be too demanding, at the same time you don't want to appear passive. A true friend will not allow your friendship to be destroyed because you expressed your true feelings.

A good woman recognizes she is a good woman because in order for her to be good to a man, she is good to herself first. A good woman also is not waiting on a good man-she recognizes that God will place that man in her life. If you are that good man, stand up and be accounted for!

Hope that answered your questions.

If you would like to ask a question, please email All personal information will be kept strictly confidential.

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